BOOGIE WOOGIE
by sweet-and-simple
Summary: Ever met the Boogie Woogie Wu?  We call him Mr. Russia in this story.  Forget Alejandro - Arthur replaces that random man.  And to spice it up...  Adam Lambert?  A series of song fics with the gracious help of one themagnificentME!  Russia, UKxUS, etc...
1. Does Mr Russia Really Exist?

The Russian lives out of the raging blizzard in the dead of night.

The ravenous blood crazed nation searches for its comrades~

Through the blinding white it lurches driven by madness itself;

Only the satisfaction of slaughter will cause it to return

to mother Russia from which it came.

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~

Lithuania and Latvia, it's nighty night time;

Estonia has a nursery rhythm.

It's about the big bad Russian man!

Keep your light on as long as you can

'Cause when it cuts off so does your head.

Mr. Russia waits under your bed with a

shank! spla! up through the bottom.

'_Little Latvia Latvia'_ got him~

It's the one and only Mr. Russia!

He creeps, he hides, he sneeks, he slides…

If your little feetsies are hanging off the edge of the bed

You're running on stumps shit face!

Moon light fills the room that you sleep and things go bump

in the night and creepin'…

"Ah, kolkol! I stubbed my toe, it's because you left your shit

all over the floor~ vell, you're dead anyway and I vill

leave your head smack dead in the hallway, da ~

In the morning when Estonia valks out –" _'GAH!'_ his foot's in

your mouth thanks to Mr. Russia~

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (here comes Mr. Russia)

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (make way for Mr. Russia)

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)

'_Does Mr. Russia really exist?'_

"Vell, is America a whiny, fat pig?

Yes. You fall asleep and vake up dead with a faucet pipe sticking

out of your skull.

I hum 'til you stop shaking, tie you down and splatter your blood, da~

And then let you free, hah hah!

Clean this mess, da?"

The world's biggest nation will come to you.

Slumber parties, sleep overs, intimate nights –

Whatever the occasion for the midnight hour he will

gladly come and drive horror through your heart~

"I don't beat vomen, da~ If I vant, I vill bash her head in and think nothing of it~"

You didn't know Mr. Russia was a killer but when you see

the nation holding your skull -

swing, chop, stab, swing, chop you're holding your heart together but

your nuts drop

And the G8 does the best they can, they pull the ax out your face and say

'_Was it the commie bastard?'_

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (what was he wearing?)

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol ~)

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (make way for the Russian man)

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)

'_Please don't let my fall asleep, because Mr. Russia will creep through my window in my room, stab me with a faucet pipe. Please don't let me fall asleep, because Mr. Russia will creep through my window in my room sta..._' KOL KOLKOL KOLKOL!

It's the incredible undefeatable Russian man!

Go ahead pull the covers over your head –

Hide under them – he doesn't really care.

It'll just makes it that much more easier for him to suffocate you, da~

"There are three vays to stop me from doing vat I do, da~ vat you think I vill tell you?"

'_Mom could you leave the door open a bit?'_

"Thanks, an easy vay in, you stupid shit~ now I stretch your neck out and play it like a violin, da~ .. Duuuh daah duuh… You like that, da? Then I stretch it more and fling your head through the vall. Call me Mr. Russia, da~"

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (here comes Mr. Russia)

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (make way for Mr. Russia)

Kol kolkol kolkol kolkol coo~ (kol kol kol kol~)

* * *

The song is **Boogie Woogie Wu **by **Insane Clown** **Posse. **It has been refined to fit Russia! I give credit to themagnificentME because it was her idea to do the song fics and she supplied me with the songs, so~ THREE CHEERS FOR themagnificentME! YAY~! Presumably, there will be four chapters, but I'm not completely sure... I'll give it a shot, though!


	2. Better than your Goddamned Tea

I know that I am young and I know that you may love me

But I just can't be with you like this anymore

Arthur~

He's got both hands in his pockets and he won't look at you (won't look at you)

He hides true love – He's got a halo around his finger

Around you~

You know that I love you, Iggy – Better than your goddamned tea

At this point I've gotta choose

Nothing to lose ~

Don't call my name, don't call my name

Arthur~

I'm not your baby, I'm not your baby

Iggy~

Don't wanna pay your stupid taxes

Just eat my hamburger, hush

Don't call my name, don't call my name

Great Britain~

Arthur, Arthur

Iggy-Arthur, Iggy-Arthur

Stop!

Please, just let me go

Arthur~

Just let me go

He's not broken, he's just a baby – But his nation's like his life, just like his life

And all those flames that burned before him – Now he's gotta firefight

Gotta cool the bad ~

You know that I love you, Iggy – Better than your goddamned tea

At this point I've gotta choose

Nothing to lose~

Don't call my name, don't call my name

Arthur~

I'm not your baby, I'm not your baby

Iggy~

Don't wanna pay your stupid taxes

Just eat my hamburger, hush

Don't call my name, don't call my name

Great Britain~

Arthur, Arthur

Iggy-Arthur, Iggy-Arthur

Don't bother me, don't bother me

Igg-y Ar-thur, Igg-y Ar-thur

Don't call my name, don't call my name

Bye, Iggy~

I'm not your babe, I'm not your baby

Arthur~

Don't wanna pay your stupid taxes

Great Britain~

Don't call my name, don't call my name

Arthur~

I'm not your baby, I'm not your baby

Iggy~

Don't wanna pay your stupid taxes

Just eat my hamburger, hush

Don't call my name, don't call my name

Great Britain~

Arthur, Arthur

Iggy-Arthur, Iggy-Arthur

Arthur, Arthur

Iggy-Arthur, Iggy-Arthur

Don't call my name, Arthur – Don't call my name, Arthur

Arthur~

I'm not your baby, Iggy-Arthur – I'm not your baby, Iggy-Arthur

Iggy ~

Don't wanna pay your stupid taxes, Great Britain~

Great Britain~

Just eat my hamburger and hush

Don't call my name, Iggy-Arthur – Don't call my name, Iggy-Arthur

Arthur~

Arthur, Arthur

Iggy-Arthur, Iggy-Arthur

Don't call my name, Arthur - Don't call my name, Arthur

Arthur~

I'm not your baby, Iggy-Arthur – I'm not your baby, Iggy-Arthur

Iggy ~

Don't wanna pay your stupid taxes, Great Britain

Just eat my hamburger and hush

Don't call my name, Iggy-Arthur – Don't call my name, Iggy-Arthur

Roberto

Arthur, Arthur

Iggy-Arthur, Iggy-Arthur

Don't call my name, Arthur – Don't call my name, Arthur

Arthur~

I'm not your baby, Iggy-Arthur – I'm not your baby, Iggy-Arthur

Iggy~

Don't wanna pay your stupid taxes, Great Britain

Just eat my hamburger and hush

Don't call me name, Iggy-Arthur – Don't call my name, Iggy-Arthur

Great Britain~

Arthur.

* * *

The song is **Alejandro** by **Lady GaGa**~ Again, give a round of applause for themagnificentME who got me going on this and suggested the songs~ And, yes, this is a USxUK song fic. Arthur was indeed every random dude Lady GaGa mentioned in this particular song while Alfred just emoed away, eating his sanity-saving hamburgers.


	3. I be skatin' and shovin'

"Bang Bang"

Hands on the stick – let it bang, bang, baby, let it bang!

I don't give a dang cuz I'mma rebel kind, watch me do my thang~

Let me introduce you to my polar bear, I don't care if ya like me( I walk it out on 'em)

Runnin' from the opposite team, I hit the center line; now try and entrap me so let's get down, babyy!

I be skatin' and shovin' – I be scorin' forever

Got my eye on the target and I'm aiming at'cha

See me flash in the uproar - feel Destruction and Violence

Got my eye on the target and I'm aiming at'cha

BANG BANG!(I'm aiming at'cha)

BANG BANG! (I'm aiming at'cha)

Ain't nothing like the feeling of that wooden hockey stick in ya hand

Know I sound psycho, Daddy-O you'll never understand...

Let me introduce you to my flying black puck – she's shining ( I'll whip it out on 'em)

Polishing my silver blades, scraping the rink

Body foward, Pickin' Up!

I be skatin' and shovin' – I be scorin' forever

Got my eye on the target and I'm aiming at'cha

See me flash in the uproar - feel Destruction and Violence

Got my eye on the target and I'm aiming at'cha

BANG BANG!(I'm aiming at'cha)

BANG BANG!(I'm aiming at'cha)

I'm aiming at'cha – Maybe I should lay back

Let the other team catch up.

Hold my head, come down from my high.

I be skatin' and shovin' – I be scorin' forever

Got my eye on the target and I'm aiming at'cha

BANG BANG!(I'm aiming at'cha)

BANG BANG!(I'm aiming at'cha)

BANG BANG ( let me introduce you to my polar bear!) Ohh Ahhh!

Uhmmm YEAH! LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY POLAR BEAR!

HEY! OHHH! BANG BANG BANG !

The song is **Bang Bang **by** Melanie Fiona**, twisted and tweaked with to reflect Canada in all his hockey glory~ However, I actually don't know anything about hockey… So… Yeah…

As aforementioned, the song was suggested by themagnificentME 'cause she is magnificent, of course.


	4. Liet, I'm here for your Entertainment

"Liet, calm down." The blonde-haired devil flicked his tongue back into his mouth, looking torn between a pout and a grin. "You've got to, like, stop fighting me."

The teal blue eyes of his boyfriend stared with horror up at him. "Wh-what do you mean, s-stop fighting you?" He struggled more fervently on the bed, writhing and wiggling without success. "I-I'm tied down!"

"OMG, you're such a baby." The blonde's neon green eyes rolled in irritation. "Why do I, like, even do this with you?" But his expression quickly turned from annoyance to smugness.

He leaned back down and pressed a kiss to the brunette's lips, giggling softly. "If I were in a dress, that would, like, make you more comfortable, am I right?"

The man beneath him sputtered something out that couldn't be understood for all his stuttering.

"I knew you'd, like, agree, Liet~"

Three minutes later, the poor, chained boy was trying to look anywhere but at the blonde. "F-Feliks, _no_… J-just… where d-did you even _get_ that?"

The phoenix smirked and crawled back onto the bed, shirt miniskirt riding up to show the bare globes of his butt. "Does it, like, even matter?"

He grabbed Toris by the collar and forced him to meet his eyes. "Don't be so scared, Liet~ This is gonna, like, hurt _real_ good." His tongue swept over Lithuania's racing pulse. "Just trust me, Liet – you'll be, like, super happy by morning."

The brunette's wan face and trembling hands suggested that he didn't want to have to be there that long.

The song that inspired this is **For Your Entertainment** by **Adam Lambert**. Yes, this is an exceptionally short story… but, after that last sentence, I couldn't think of how to continue… And I had always labeled this at rating 'T' meaning that there wouldn't be actual sex, so… Sorry.

Again, credit to themagnificentME! Yay~


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